Does anyone else know what it’s like to put your whole heart into something and then have it mean nothing at all. It’s the absolute worst. I have been finding myself wanting an escape. I need Jesus so bad but then I find myself thinking about how much better I’d feel if I just gave into old addictions. I don’t have support anymore from anyone. Like my friends have always been my biggest support because my parents never have truly been there for me through anything. Now I just feel so alone. Like what’s the point in even trying if it never gets better? Whats the point in pouring your heart and soul into anyone if they just want to push you away? I really don’t see the point anymore. I give up. The only thing I held onto was hope. Now I feel like that was taken from me now too.
I swear I get offered more crap when I’m depressed. Why does everyone want to give me free drugs so badly? I mean you think me lying to everyone and telling them I’m busy having an Asthma attack they’d get the point. I don’t care anymore. I think I’m going to try to shut the world out for awhile. I can’t take it anymore.
I just don’t get why people won’t just tell the truth. I mean if your honest you won’t have anything to remember. It’s just truth. I’m so sick of lies and the sick quick compromise. I actually almost started to cry when I watched into the wild yesterday. That guy knows you can’t be lied to when all you surround yourself with is the beauty of nature. I dream about doing the same thing but I love these people in my life. I hate lies but I love the people. Why can’t we all just be honest?
Oh yeah… That be to easy.